Hishtadlus

So something that my mother-in-law has always said is that we do what we can and then hand it over to a higher power. I really believe this to be 100% true as a staple in anyone's Judaism. Usually this would take on a negative connotation in that we do what we can but sometimes things don't work out.
On some occasions it takes on a happy tone. When Yael and I flew in from LA for her cousins bar mitzvah, we had all the craziness with her ID showing her maiden name and her ticket having my last name. We went through a lot of phone calls trying to get our marriage certificate, or having her ticket changed, or getting our hands on something official that showed our names together as being married. In the end we had our prenup and 3 TSA agents that said it should suffice.
We headed to the airport on Tuesday morning with as many forms of ID for Yael as we could possibly find, our invitation, our prenup, our bencher (in case we could even explain to the TSA agent what that even was), and anything else we could think of. We get to the security point and I go first so the agent can see my name. Then Yael hands her ticket and ID and the agent does a double-take. Obviously she realized that Yael's last name has suddenly changed. We are ready for the show-down... So I say to the agent, "She took on my name when we got married." The agent said, "Okay," signed her initials and let us through.
Why we had to go through all of our crazy preparations for this show-down, I have no clue, but I'm sure that in 97 years I will find out. We did our part and the higher power took over.

Prenup

I mean this whole-heartedly: Baruch HaShem we signed a prenuptial agreement. Don't worry guys, we are still very much happily married even after 2 whole weeks. Let me explain.
We weren't sure if we were going to get a prenup based on religious counsel, but we decided to do it in the end and keep it quiet without making a deal out of it. We are now going to be flying to NY on Tuesday and we booked the ticket with Yael's last name as "Pinsky" instead of her maiden name. This is a problem because her ID still says "Furst" but her ticket says "Pinsky". We've been going crazy the last few days trying to get the ticket changed or find a way to get a hold of our marriage certificate but with no luck. Over Shabbos, my brilliant mother-in-law realized that we still had the prenup and my brother-in-law hadn't given it to their shul rabbi yet. Tonight we called the airline and the TSA and they both said that this would be a valid form of ID for Yael to get through security. Iy"H my parents will print it up by tomorrow and bring it to us for our flight.
I realize that I discuss this topic quiet often, especially in terms of my marriage, but I think the hashgacha in this story is pretty unbelievable. For starters, we weren't even going to get a prenup. Secondly, we weren't going to be able to have a prenup until my brother-in-law told us that he was a notary. Thirdly, he wasn't supposed to hold onto the prenup; he was supposed to give it to their rabbi at the wedding.
The fact that everything came together to allow us to fly on Tuesday was nothing short of miraculous. Also, the trouble that we have had to go through in this ordeal has certainly brought us closer as well.
Hopefully everything from here on out will go smoothly with the flight and we will make it to NY on time. We'll keep you posted on that but hopefully it will not necessitate it's own post next week.

It Takes Time

So now that Yael and I finally got married, we are starting to get our apartment ready and begin our adventure of starting a family. I asked Yael what we should blog about this week and she said the idea that setting up an apartment takes time and that anything good in life takes time. You can't just magically skip the vital steps that are required to lay down a foundation for your life.
This also seems to be one of the running themes discussed at the various sheva brachos. You can't just get married and expect everything to fall into place. These things take time to learn about each other and to foster a connection that will last a lifetime.
Basically, if it's worth it, it will not come easily. Put in the effort and it will pay off dividends in the end.

Anticipation

Big post tonight. Tomorrow is the big day of the long awaited wedding. I think now is a good time to take a moment and thank HaShem for bringing me to this point, both in terms of my own journey through life and in helping me find Yael. As you may remember from a previous post, this shidduch was set in motion at least 5 years ago. I think it's pretty amazing that we are getting married in the place that we first met at my brother's wedding. Since the hashgacha in this is so obvious to me I don't think it requires dwelling on it.
So obviously I'm looking forward to tomorrow. But with that anticipation I think a reality check is in order. Marriages are hard. It's easy to say to myself that I have certain feelings towards Yael and our entire marriage will be magical and one life-long fairytale, but the reality is that marriages take work and they don't come easy. So while I'm anticipating embarking on this life-long journey with her and I look forward to the type of house that we will build together, it is unrealistic for me to think that the two of us will be able to handle this on our own.
There's a dvar torah that I've heard a number of times and I'll mention it here. Ish is spelled aleph-yud-shin and isha is spelled aleph-shin-hey. If man and wife come together but without the yud from ish and the hey from isha, you are left with an aish. If you don't include HaShem in your house, it will be consumed in fire. If you don't bring a sense of keddusha into your home, your anger and fury can easily destroy your marriage.
I think it's very important to go into tomorrow with a tefillah and a hope that our home is full of keddusha and it is a suitable place for the shechinah to come into. Since the hashgacha at the beginning of our relationship was so obvious to us, hopefully we will continue to see that hashgacha throughout the rest of our lives together and that will help us work on our marriage and growth as both individuals and as a couple.