Moving On

So graduation happened, though it took a while. Now it's just a countdown until the wedding. I don't really have any insights about what's going on, it's just a waiting game now. I guess I'll just write something about marriage (as I've heard through shiurim, since I still don't have any experience on the matter).
The point of a marriage is to teach one how to not be selfish. How to give to someone else of yourself wholeheartedly. But of course, you don't have to be married in order to start practicing this. When R' Neuburger was in YU for Shabbos a few years ago, he spoke, during the question and answer session, about the similarities between living with a new wife and living with a new roommate. Of course, this only goes so far, but it is certainly a good practice-ground.
How you deal with a chavrusa, roommate, or just a friend can certainly help prepare you for how you will relate to a spouse in the future.

[Sorry for the brevity, but I was drawing blanks on what to write about.]

Manners

Being that it's finals (cramming) week, the ever-popular "Midnight Madness" continues. In case you aren't aware, Midnight Madness consists of 200-300 college boys gathering together at midnight in the Morgenstern lounge during finals week for various types of food provided by the student council. At least that is the "Midnight" part of it. The "Madness" is the chaos that ensues when 200-300 college boys gather for food in Morgenstern lounge. This "Madness" certainly doesn't require the time to be midnight, the location to be the Morg lounge or even the atmosphere to be one of finals-angst.
At various increments throughout the year there are similar occasions where free food is served: Superbowl party, orientation events, student council sponsored bar-be-ques... And the result is always the same: hundreds of college-aged men acting like boys, to say the least. I will admit, there have been times that I want the food too and I may be hungry, but that is no excuse for all of the pushing and shoving that goes on. People should learn to stand in line like a normal person and take when it is their turn, not crowd around a few tins of food like a bunch of animals around a trough.
I would continue and elaborate but I think the point is clear.

Details

This shabbos, discussion turned to worrying about details of one's avodas HaShem while the big picture is still lacking. Specifically, the conversation was about waiting for the exact zman before starting to daven when one's davening is already rushed and with little kavana. We all think that we know what HaShem wants of us, but what we think is not necessarily accurate.
I think everyone would agree that He wants our davening to be both, in its proper time and with proper kavana. The question was which takes precedence. The general consensus around the table seemed to be that we are supposed to behave with common sense and while it's nice to wait the extra 30 seconds for davening, don't quibble over details if you're not going to have kavana anyway. Use those extra 30 seconds to have a little longer of a shmonah esrai and start a little sooner.
In theory, I hear the argument. However, I don't think we can assume that we know what HaShem is thinking in this regard. While it would be nice to have that extra kavana, we can't assume that those 30 seconds of waiting don't mean anything to HaShem. We don't know how the spiritual world works and we don't know the actual significance of the change from night to day in terms of tefillah.
Another point to think about is that we must consider both the individual action as well as the aggregate in terms of our avodas HaShem. While having both aspects is certainly ideal, just because you are lacking kavana doesn't mean that the act of waiting means nothing. There is a positive side to the waiting alone, even if the tefillah as a whole is still below the ideal level.

Overwhelming

It seems to be the word of the day. First of all, finals are about to start. Secondly, I'm in the planning my wedding. Between picking out a menu and finding an apartment, things can get pretty crazy. On second thought, I don't think overwhelming even does the situation justice. It's a roller-coaster to say the least.
But since I don't have much time, I'll cut to the chase: how do I try to deal with it?
So I think the best idea is to just jump on in and start. You have to at least get the ball rolling if you want to accomplish anything. You don't have to finish it all right away, but at least make some progress.
Another thing that I think is important is to make a list. For me it helps for a couple of reasons. 1) It makes me positive that I don't forget anything while focusing on everything else. 2) It makes it concrete and do-able. The whole world isn't hanging over your head, it just the few things on the list. 3) Being able to see what you have crossed-off and finished can keep you motivated in finishing the rest.
Most important is to make a schedule detailing what you will get done and when. This accomplishes the same things as the list would accomplish, but even more so. Write down what you need to do and when you need to do it.
I don't have much time now to elaborate and really check this over so I'm hoping it came out the way I wanted it to on the first try. Get your list going and then plot it into a schedule and see how it works for you.

Danger of a Fall

This week's parsha tells the story of the person who cursed HaShem. In discussing this story, Rav Akiva Tatz shlit"a delves into what could have brought this person to such a state that he would decide to curse HaShem. He is one of the people who left Mitzrayim and was thus privileged to see great miracles and accept the Torah. What would bring this person so low that he would do such a deed?
Rashi commenting on the story says that he was the son of Shlomit bas Divri of shevet Dan and a mitzri man. He tried to settle his tent amongst Dan and he was brought to court. Others from shevet Dan didn't want him to take some of their portion as they claimed that he wasn't from their shevet since lineage goes after one's father, who in this person's case was a mitzri. Moshe decided that the rest of shevet Dan was correct as ruled that this person had no share in the portion of Dan. As a result of this judgment, he left Moshe's beis din and cursed HaShem.
Rav Akiva Tatz explains that when someone has a fall, they fall hard. When all of a sudden things seem to be slipping away and everything you thought you knew is suddenly gone, there is no limit as to how low you can fall. That is what happened to this person. He felt he was just as Jewish as anyone else in bnei yisroel. He thought he was just as privileged as they were in gaining a portion of inheritance. And in the blink of an eye that is all taken away from him. At that moment, he lost all control.
He points out, based on a story about Shlomo haMelech, that when one experiences a fall, you must take a tally of what you have left. Don't worry about what you lost. It's gone already. Focus on what is left and be grateful for that. If you work from there you can regain what you once had. But if you just want to focus on what is now gone, you will soon lose it all.
Don't worry about how much has spilled from the glass, worry about how much remained and what can be done with it.

http://www.simpletoremember.com/media/a/greatness-and-despair-danger-of-a-fall/